Perhaps you have wanted to see an exhibition for a while, or there is music nearby on Thursday evenings. You would enjoy going with someone, but the shared plan has not happened yet.
Schedules do not line up. A familiar person lives further away now. Sometimes suggesting something feels like more work than the outing itself. An ordinary plan is a reasonable place to begin.
There is also a larger reason to take connection seriously: decades of research into how relationships relate to our wellbeing and health.
Different kinds of together
Connection is more than a headcount. WHO describes it through our relationships and interactions, the support they provide and their quality. The terms researchers use describe different parts of that picture. WHO’s explanation
- Loneliness
- The gap between the connection you want and the connection you feel.
- Social isolation
- Having too few relationships or interactions with other people.
- Living alone
- A household arrangement. It does not tell us how connected someone feels.
You can feel lonely in company, or connected while living alone.
You do not need a label to want company. Enjoying time alone is okay too.
What AARP found among adults 45 and over
In AARP’s 2025 U.S. survey of adults aged 45 and over, 40% were classified as lonely using the UCLA Loneliness Scale. That is different from directly asking people whether they feel lonely: 33% answered always or sometimes to a question about feeling lonely or isolated. AARP research · How AARP describes the measures
AARP’s reporting also identifies confidence, motivation and fear of rejection as barriers among lonely respondents trying to expand their social networks. That gives context to a familiar experience: wanting company can be easier than knowing how to begin. These findings concern the surveyed population; they do not measure what happens when someone uses Bluedoor.
If that hesitation feels familiar, When you would like more company, but do not know where to start offers a few ways to think about a first step.
What the longer studies found
In 2010, Julianne Holt-Lunstad, Timothy Smith and Bradley Layton combined 148 studies involving 308,849 participants. Stronger social relationships were associated with greater odds of surviving the studies’ follow-up periods. The pooled odds ratio was 1.50. That is a comparison of survival odds, not a finding that people lived 50% longer. Original study
A 2015 review by Holt-Lunstad and colleagues examined loneliness, social isolation and living alone separately. Each was associated with higher mortality odds after adjustment for measured factors. A later review of 90 cohorts, published in 2023, also found associations between loneliness, isolation and mortality. The exact estimates vary with the studies and measures used. 2015 review · 2023 review
An association is not a promise
These findings deserve attention, but they cannot tell an individual how many years a new friendship would add. Poor health can make social contact harder. Other circumstances can affect both relationships and health. Adjusting for measured differences helps researchers investigate the question; it does not remove every alternative explanation.
Research continues to test those explanations. A July 2026 study combined observational, sibling-comparison and genetically informed approaches. Evidence was clearer for mental health and wellbeing than for specific physical diseases, with uncertainty remaining around some effects. The researchers cautioned that an uncertain result does not prove there is no effect. 2026 study
Studies of interventions ask another question: what happens when people receive a particular kind of support? A recent review found benefits across some approaches, while grading confidence in the estimates as low or very low. A membership built around shared plans is not interchangeable with those interventions. Intervention review
Back to everyday life
We can value company without turning every outing into a health project.
A short coffee or an exhibition with someone you know may be enough. Choose something you would enjoy, with room to talk.
Time, cost, transport, energy and accessibility can all shape what feels possible. A useful suggestion leaves room for those realities, and for someone to pass.
Bluedoor is built around that practical beginning: private Invitations for shared experiences. Members choose whether to respond. Both people confirm before exact meeting details are shared, and contact follows their choices. We have not established that using Bluedoor improves health, reduces loneliness or extends life.
Our aim is to help adults turn an idea into a shared plan.
